Friday, April 1, 2011
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: ABMS announces unlikely to be successful applications to co-sponsor Hospice and Palliative Medicine by additional specialties.
Chicago, TX April 1, 2011
Reported by Abe R Feaulx, Pallimed Special Reporter
At a hastily-called press conference, the ABMS Council on Curious Announcements exclaimed doubtfully that three more specialty boards have now applied to co-sponsor HPM. These applicant boards are: the American Board of Ophthalmology (ABO), the American Board of Dermatology (AMD), and the American Board of Preventive Medicine (ABPM).
Dr. Shemp Howard, a spokesperson for the council stated the applications were welcome, but did wonder aloud about what these specialties have to do with dying patients. Dr. Brian Regan, a representative of the ABO, was first to jump in with the comment that, "There are ocular manifestations of a wide spectrum of systemic diseases, including life-limiting and life-threatening disease, and everyone knows that the eyes are the windows to the soul, so we thought we should be involved."
Flint, MI physician Roger Moore, MD, the representative for ABPM, which certifies Occupational Medicine physicians, commented that "In the current economy many patients with life-limiting and life-threatening illnesses, and their family members, often have to work right up until the end. We are uniquely positioned to help and support these patients, and family members maintain their productivity in the workplace."
The representative of the ABD, Dr. Stretch Armstrong added that, while often overlooked, the skin is the largest organ, and that skin failure was under-recognized as a contributing component of the dying process, and offered that cosmiceuticals as well as laser debridement and tattoo removal could go a long way toward addressing existential distress for some seriously-ill patients. Plus, we were told that there aren't any emergencies in hospice." Spokespersons for the current HPM co-sponsoring medical boards were not present at the press conference, and none had responded to requests for comment by press time.
Happy April Fools 2011 from Pallimed