Mastodon "What would you do if it were your kid?" - An Invitation for Empathy ~ Pallimed

Thursday, October 24, 2013

"What would you do if it were your kid?" - An Invitation for Empathy

(Ed. - Please welcome Jennifer Linebarger, MD, MPH, FAAP to Pallimed.  Jennifer joins us and will be helping beef up our pediatrics focus here at Pallimed. We are thrilled to have her! - Sinclair)

I had just begun reading Dr. Danielle Ofri's latest book, "What Doctors Feel: How Emotions Affect the Practice of Medicine", when I opened The New England Journal of Medicine to find David Korones' essay "What would you do if it were your kid?" As he points out, nearly all of us have been asked, have heard this "plea to share with them, as a partner, the heavy burden of decision making." And nearly all of us have squirmed in our seats a little each time.

I still remember the child in the ICU, sedated and on a ventilator as her parents waited for the fungus in her lungs to clear. The note on her door said, “Docs, if ‘Plan A’ didn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters! So stay cool.” Yet, the infection was persistent, and her parents were asked to decide – continue as is, perform surgery to remove the fungal ball, or to withdraw the ventilator support and keep her comfortable as she died. The whole team gathered with the parents – the ICU doc, the BMT primary, the infectious disease specialist, the cardiothoracic surgeon, and me, the palliative care doc. The options were presented. The table fell silent as the parents processed the decision before them. Then the father asked, “What would you do?” And after a few furtive glances, one-by-one every provider around that table shared their opinion.

There was not a unanimous response from the providers at the table. But everyone sat with the parents as they faced a heart-wrenching decision. Two years after her death, her parents sat before a group of second year residents and reflected on that family meeting, and on the empathy they felt. It buoys them on their waves of grief to this day.

While the word "empathy" does not appear in Korones’ essay, I think it is at the heart of everything he says. Perhaps it is because I was reading Ofri’s book, and on page 48 she explains,
“Empathy is a cognition, a thought process that allows you to understand the patient’s feelings while not necessarily feeling them yourself… and the empathic doctor needs to be able to clearly communicate that understanding” (p48).
When a patient or a family member asks, “What would you do?”, they are inviting empathy.

ResearchBlogging.org1. Korones DN (2013). What would you do if it were your kid? The New England Journal of Medicine, 369 (14), 1291-3 PMID: 24088090

2. Meyer EC, Lamiani G, Foer MR, Truog RD (2012). "What would you do if this were your child?": practitioners' responses during enacted conversations in the United States. Pediatric Critical Care Medicine 13 (6) PMID: 23034458

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